Full Disclaimer.
I do not pretend that I know everything or that “what is good for the goose is good for the gander”. We are all different human beings with different circumstances, disorders, traumas and illnesses. What I share is my toolkit of strategies I’ve gathered over the years and I now practice regularly. These strategies have helped me lead a balanced life. Is that not what we all strive for?
Love Yourself
First and foremost, loving and accepting one-self must be the first step in flourishing with our mental illness or disorder. It’s not always easy to practice when we have just been given a label that we don’t want or have a hard time accepting. We feel guilt, shame, vulnerable.
It took me years to love myself after receiving the diagnosis of bipolar. Shame was living so deep within me. I was feeding the shame by not talking about it, by judging myself, by numbing my feelings and using food as an escape and a coping mechanism. As Brené Brown says it so beautifully: “Shame cannot survive being spoken…and being met with empathy”. I learnt the hard way that while I had abundant love from family and friends, the most important love and compassion was missing from the most important one…. ME.
A beautiful attestation that we are loving yourself, is when you start accepting your Self. When you are kind and gentle towards your needs and desires, you treat yourself like you would act and behave with your mother, your spouse or your best friend. When you start including your feelings in the equation, tuning in to your voice within, feeling those deep emotions even if they are dark and sad then you have truly accepted yourself. Loving yourself through all this is a very healing process.
Healthy Habits
“A balanced Mind connects Body and Spirit in a harmonious relationship! Harmony in Mind-Body-Soul promotes a true state of Health, Peace and Happiness ~ unknown”.
Health experts and coaches, physicians, trauma therapists, psychotherapists or psychiatrists
will most likely all have a very similar or slightly varied list of habits we should practice daily so that body, mind and soul are in equilibrium. Some doctors will focus on our physical or emotional health. But we can’t be in equilibrium and find complete peace and health, unless we nurture all three (body, soul and mind).
This list could easily become exhaustive but here are the 7 ways that I found to improve my mental health:
“Staying Positive: doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that on hard
days you also know that there are better ones coming around the corner. ~ unknown” Nurturing your soul, mind and body of positivity, optimism, happiness and joyful moments. I also try to socialize
with like-minded individuals that bring me joy not sorrow.Being Active: doesn’t mean a specific type of exercise or a specific level of effort either. It means committing to moving. Does that mean a walk, a bike ride, yoga, pilates, volleyball game, dancing, a personal training session? Whatever soothes your body and soul. Follow your body’s limitation. I have weak ankles and last Spring I had a third sprain on the right ankle. It took months to heal. The activities I so love were put on the back burner last summer so I could heal. Gradually, I incorporated a variety of movements in my routine (walks, pilates or stretches) that would not impact my ankle. It’s important to listen to your body.
Sleep: At the onset of my diagnosis, I soon realized the paramount impact sleep has on mental disorder and illness. Sleep deprivation affects your psychological state and mental health. My first psychotic episode (the mental breakdown that brought me to the hospital the first time) was triggered by a cumulative lack of sleep. Subsequent manic or psychotic episodes have also demonstrated that lack of sleep was a contributor to my instability. Sleep is regenerative, it allows our body to repair itself and our brain to consolidate our memories and process information.
Eating Healthy: A healthy plate will look different for everyone. What really made a difference for me was to first acknowledge how the food I was eating was affecting my mind-body-soul. Food is not just to nurture your physical self. Remember that. I am now choosing food that promotes a healthy psychological & hormonal response, supports a healthy gut and immune function and also minimizes inflammation. If you want to learn more, reach out to me.
Drink water not alcohol: In the same vain as eating healthy, I limit my alcohol intake. I have noticed what alcohol does to my nervous system and mental health. I choose not to numb my feelings nor to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. I hydrate with water instead.
Meditate: “The thing about meditation is: You become more and more you.” ~ David Lynch. I noticed better night sleep, increase in productivity, lower cholesterol level and decrease in hypertension. Those are amazing benefits. For me, the most significant improvement in my mental health has been the decrease in anxiety and stress levels. I started my practice with a short 10 minutes mindful meditations in the mornings and I built from there.
Fun and Play: Life is not meant to be all work. You need play time also. To have a balanced life, I need to incorporate fun activities and hobbies that bring me joy, laughter and happiness… filling my bucket. It could be spending time with loved ones, doing crafts, being involved in my community, playing sports, being part of a team, traveling. Whatever brings a smile to your face when asked what a perfect day would look like for you.
Regular Treatments
Depending which specialists you consult, they will prescribe different treatments for similar symptoms. For example, after observing your behavior and thoughts, a psychiatrist could prescribe anti-depressants, anti-psychotic or mood stabilizers medications. Some therapists will use psychotherapy, while others may use new methods to help in the healing process: active listening techniques, massage therapy, hypnotherapy, talk therapy or embodied therapy.
I have received all of these treatments and I don’t want to claim that one is exclusive or better than the other. I also do not want to dismiss the need of psychotic medication when you are diagnosis with a mental illness or disorder. Personally, I have accepted I need pharmaceutical medications to cope with my trauma and be able to lead a balanced life. I know that the chemical imbalance in my brain affected my neurotransmitters and for now, I take daily mood stabilizers. I have to accept and love myself in this.
I strongly believe that in order to lead an Equilibrium life, we need a variety of treatments and not just the prescriptions given to us by doctors. If we own a car, we need to do regular checkups and tune ups. We can’t expect our car to function with just gas. We need to check the engine once in a while, we need to put engine fluids, change the breaks etc. The same thing goes for our body, mind and soul; our healing process can involves various techniques and approaches.
I like the analogy that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it also takes a team of angels to support you through your journey, and not just in bad times but also on your good days. All these individual helpers hone their specific niche and expertise. I consider these specialists as my coaches and my counsellors. They provide me with their best advice and guidance based on their observations and knowledge. However, I believe I need a holistic approach in treating my mental disorder and living with my label.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE.
We need to be part of the solution. We can’t just assume that a pink pill will make us feel all better. We have to be ready to do the work, go deep within, talk about our trauma, express the shame, the pain and grief but also be ready to feel all these emotions. The healing process which is continuous is also so worth it. Because we are worth it.
Be true to yourself
Coming back to the first strategy of loving yourself, my dear friend Char always talks about honoring our own radio, tuning in to the voice within. The answers reside there. We just need to pause and listen to our heart whispers.
During this pandemic, this invitation for a beautiful retreat within, I encourage you to reflect on your current lifestyle and what resonates with you:
What coping mechanisms have you put in place?
Are they working for you?
Do you want to adopt new strategies?
I encourage you to contemplate how you will choose to live post pandemic. What lifestyle will you choose for yourself?
Take some of my strategies, leave some, search for new ones…You are the captain of your ship. I would love to hear what strategies you use or will be adopting in coping with your mental illness or disorder. Feel free to drop me a comment or reach out.
To learn more about other mental health and illnesses, visit the mental health 101 free tutorials offered by the Center of Addition and Mental Health