It is my rebirth. It is my coming out party. It’s my celebration. My marriage weekend to myself. WOW I feel honoured and privileged to be going through this beautiful transformation ans celebration on sacred land.
What is happening to me?
I’m shedding my layers, the protective layers my mind and body have constructed to protect my soul. I’m shedding them because they no longer serve my foundation. I can be freer without them. I can stand on my own two feet without the armour that I built.
I’m scared! I’m scared shitless! What does it mean if I don’t have my armour? What is the armour, the protection I created for myself to survive all those years?
I build this cocoon over myself. I labelled myself bipolar. I labelled myself crazy. So that it would normalize my psychosis and my behaviours. In this society, I needed a label to protect myself from myself and others. I didn’t want to be seen as different, gifted or special.
With my trauma of losing my babies and being in an abusive relationship, my mind and body shut down. My body and mind built this cocoon to protect myself. I needed to just survive the traumas. Now, I’m finally feeling ready for coming out of this cocoon I built that no longer serves me.
I want to be my feminine self, my joyful and youthful heart of this little girl that loved everyone and every living thing. I am done hiding. I’m done playing small. I’m done with my layers of protection.
I want to be free. I want to be myself. I want to just BE ME, the crazy self and all.
I’m embracing you Nana and all your wisdom. I’m welcoming you and the tribe in my life. I am accepting my role as a vessel between the two Worlds, the different universes. I’m finally coming home to my True self.