One of my dearest BFF told me today that I’m the strongest person she knows. That got me thinking about the meaning of bravery, strength, vulnerability and our perceptions around these definitions.
Today of all days, I don’t feel strength or bravery. I actually feel pretty weak and numb. I don’t feel brave at all. Today, I fell small and vulnerable.
Earlier today, I admitted and verbalized to myself and at my work that I am not ready to jump back into work. Today, I chose my health over work, loyalty or duty. I need more time to heal, to rest and recuperate.
I don’t feel strong or brave in doing that. Au contraire, I fell like a failure, an imposter. I feel like I’m letting my team down. I feel broken.
Reading this quote tonight, put a smile on my face. I needed this quote. It gave me hope, to have faith in my journey. I have gone through a lot and I will continue to move through life’ struggles.
“This too shall pass ”
I know that this forced pause is not permanent. I know that this pause from work is needed and it doesn’t mean I’m broken forever. It just mean I need time to focus on me and my health. I will be at work soon enough but …
For tonight, I accept my mental fragility. I welcome my vulnerability. I am accepting that I have fallen once again and I am loving myself through this too.